It’s true, I was a great man. I was extremely close to myself. To me, I was much more than just myself; I was my best friend and hero. I always admired and respected myself for so many reasons that I could not possibly enumerate them all here. I was always very generous, friendly, wise and willing to help those of lesser abilities and mental capacity. Because of my outgoing personality and inherent kindness I had many admirers, again too numerous to name here. Suffice it to say that I was almost godlike to so many people. My voice could easily fill a room and when I sang it was like a choir of angels, very loud ones. I loved the outdoors and spent as much time running around naked as possible. It was then that I always felt closest to myself. At work, my staff loved me because of my outrageous and hilarious sense of humor, great patience and awesome humility. I was a master at my craft, admired by the vast majority of my peers. I know that, even though I am no longer with me, I really am. I will never forget myself and will miss my constant companionship more than I can possibly say. I know that no one will ever achieve as much as I did in my life and my shoes will never be filled, but I am certain that the torch of my life will light up the world for the friends and family I leave behind. I wish you all well, and I encourage each and every one of you to try to live up to my shining example.
Eulogy to Myself