Olive Garden Commercial

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Int. TACKY RESTAURANT BOOTH 1

MOM, 40s, sits with her purse on her lap across from her SON, 15, who is eating salad with a lowered head.

MOM

You’re going to have to start doing your own laundry.

MOM reaches into her purse as SON brings his head down closer to the salad plate in shame. MOM pulls out a sock from her purse.

MOM (CONT’D)

I found one of your socks again.

SON quickly reaches for sock across the table, then squeals in pain.

SON

What the hell are you doing? Here?

Really?

Int. TACKY RESTAURANT BOOTH 2

A family sits and DAD, 50s, is ordering wine from SERVER, 20s. SON, 18, is playing with phone. DAUGHTER, 13, is whispering to MOM, 50s, while eating a bread stick sexually.

DAUGHTER

So once a month, every month, until I’m how old?

MOM

Until you’re my age, or until you’re pregnant.

MOM laughs with sinister tone. DAUGHTER looks beyond frightened.

DAD

I have some news that might startle you all.

SON

Please tell me we aren’t moving back to Ohio?

SON in distress, puts bread stick down.

DAD

This is more serious.

MOM takes huge gulp of red wine.

MOM

Did you get the promotion?

DAD takes huge gulp of red wine.

DAD

Now, I don’t want this to change anything, but I’m, well, I’m gay.

DAUGHTER reaches for wine bottle and chugs it. SON stumbles from table.

MOM

My boyfriend will be thrilled.

Int. TACKY RESTAURANT BOOTH 3

MOM, 34, and JENNY,17, exchange laughs. SERVER, girl, approaches.

JENNY

I’ll just be having the salad and bread sticks tonight.

MOM

Order something, JENNY. Spaghetti, penne, something.

JENNY

No really, I’m good. I had a big lunch.

MOM grows filled with rage and yells.

MOM

The hell you did! You’re not fooling me anymore Jennifer Goldsberg.

SERVER is taken back and confused. MOM retreats to a sweeter tone.

MOM (CONT’D)

You’re an anorexic, Jenny. You have a disease, honey.

SERVER is more awakward. JENNY breaks down crying into her napkin. MOM looks at SERVER mildly shaking her head.

MOM (CONT’D)

The boys just don’t want to fuck thicker girls anymore.

INSERT: Olive Garden Logo

VOICEOVER

Olive Garden – When you’re here you’re family.

The Author

Lurry Wales thrives on worthwhile conversations, storytelling, and seeking genuine humor in everything.

waleslb@gmail.com

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