Von Cryczech Country Club

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Three distinguished gentlemen on an afternoon stroll.

Is this what we are expected to abide by? asks the baron.

Rules are rules, my dear friend, says the
doctor.

True, very true… mutters the banker.

A scarfed penguin walks by in the opposite direction. The three men lift their hats in salutation.

‘Tis a hapless affair.

Hapless indeed. A most unfortunate
incident.

True, very true…

The scarfed penguin turns around and joins them in conversation.

Mind the stool, he points out.

I wonder how we got to this situation.

Nobody pays attention any more, my friend.

True, very true…

Up ahead, the stool.

No news from the president, I take?

It should be a matter of time before he
makes a statement. This is a serious issue.

Brown, in a spiral, like a glorious swirl of Swiss chocolate.

The banker yawns.

What are we talking about again?

The plague. Animal droppings everywhere.
Switzerland?

Nobody pays attention any more indeed…

Swiss banks are very prestigious.

The penguin shakes his head and shrugs as he turns around and leaves.

What of the proposed solution then?

Nobody…

Fine people the Swiss.

Bathrooms for pets in the club! Focus,
gentlemen.

A serious incident, a shoe catastrophe.

I do not care much for their sweets or cheese, though.

Yes! A sad occurrence, thank you. Now do
we agree then that–

Were they able to get it all off?

Cheese makes me gassy.

It might be a digestive problem. Come by
my office on Monday.

Were they able to salvage the boot?

But they sure run a fine banking enterprise.

What? Ah yes, the boot! Yes, they did. But
regardless–

‘Tis an honest calling in life to be a Swiss banker, mind you.

Nobody listens any more…

They walk in silence then. A beautifully displayed stool lies on the ground five feet from them, unnoticed.

See, but the fact remains, gentlemen, that no
matter what we do problems like this just
keep swelling up, up, up!

Three feet.

Till someone just steps in it, literally.

One foot.

True, very true…

The Author

Borja Cabada is an authors, screenwriter, and illustrator, currently finishing his second MA in Writing and Publishing at DePaul University as a Fulbright scholar from Spain and moving to Hollywood next spring to work as a story analyst. His publication history includes two novels in Spanish: El sonido de Atlantis (finalist at the XVIII Lengua de Trapo Book Award, 2013, Spain) and Berceuse (2011, Escriba Editorial); and several short stories in English: “Insomnia” (2010, Mothertongue Journal, UMass Amherst) and short story cycle Low Anthems (published in 2011 in The Missing Room Bar emagazine). He has also written and co-written a number of short films and features.

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